or It’s ALL Brain Surgery
Awhile back, a good friend advised another who was anxious about how to do something she was unsure of to “just do it like someone else would.” I thought this was the dumbest, most inauthentic direction I’d ever heard. As usual, I was wrong.
Through several unrelated situations (shopping and putting a dog down) I came to understand that what she was talking about was accessing the neural connections in our own brains that have been altered by the people we know well, the people we let in.
Example 1: I am a terrible shopper. I am cheap, I hate to try on clothes, and I have no imagination. But I need clothes, as I am a professional woman, but not the works-naked kind. So in a moment of desperation, I decided to try shopping as someone else. But that’s not what I did. I just fired the neurons lovingly installed by my Particle-Accelerator friend. So my brain walked into an Ann Taylor and bought 2 skirts because they were what I needed, without caveats. It was like discovering a secret compartment in my head.
Example 2: Dead dog. (I should mention that, as a blogger, if my dog dies I am legally obligated to blog about it. Look it up.) Our 14 year old dog’s cognitive function degenerated suddenly, and she lost control of her legs. I knew what to do and had the ability to do it because my father did major construction in my brain when I was young. I didn’t just remember what he said; I accessed his perspective, his will, and his own bottomless love for his dogs when I needed it.
So much changes our brain- our physical, biological brain. So why not people? When you really build a connection over time, let someone in to rummage around, borrow your own ideas, and leave their own lying around, your brain changes. You get neural connections you wouldn’t have formed on your own. You exercise functions you would have let wither otherwise, or neglect functions you should have been flexing.
So we are all brain surgeons, and patients on the table. And we are all choosing the people who will open our head and rewire it.