To the woman putting on eye shadow at 10 mph during the morning rush hour, you are a detriment to our gender. You get a cold sore.
To the young people whose primitive ideas about boys, girls, and sexual standards are throwbacks to the dumbest views of their parent, you get music technology just as old and useless. Your iPhone is now a Walkman. Good luck!
To the shop owners who think a tip jar magically transforms their counter staff into waiters, thus absolving you from paying them fairly AND confusing your patrons, you get a road construction project in front of your place.
To whoever decreed that grown women should go bare-legged in dress shoes (looking at you, Anna Wintour), you get a blister. And a band-aid that won't stay stuck.
Who's on the Nice List today?
Anyone helping people put trees on top of cars, paid or unpaid. You are truly Santa's helpers.
Anyone opening a checkout line.
Anyone with a reindeer nose on their car. (I immediately and unquestioningly trust you.)
The stranger in Costco who I chatted up about the awesomeness of the Head running gloves. Thank you for not overtly treating me like a crazy lady.